I was on such a roll last week. I was posting everyday and I was loving all the make-a-list and cross-off-stuff-from-said-list action. I’m such a nerd like that. But then I fell behind…boo hoo. I start to think of all the things I need to do and I spend most of the day thinking of the things I need to do rather than doing the things I think. You dig?

Anyways, yesterday I was in a terrible mood. On Saturday I bought a dining table and two chairs still in the box from Habitat For Humanity’s ReStore but I didn’t pick them up until yesterday. It feels like every time Big Daddy comes along with me to one of my thrifty finds something goes south. And Monday was no exception. When we went to load the two huge boxes that had never been opened the sales guy says ever so nonchalantly, “hey this says it’s one of three boxes and I only see two boxes.” Then I say ever so nonchalantly, “oh s%^$.”

We open the boxes to discover one incredibly broken chair.

Disappointment begins to crest atop my furrowed brow. Big Daddy begins to get agitated with my “great” purchase and opens up some “hey can we return this crap” dialogue.

Well it turns out places like ReStore are like “As Is” jack. And I’m starting to fear that Big Daddy will never take me seriously again. Lest you not forget the financial endeavor I’ve jumped into with The Hunter’s Alley.

We continued to unwrap the boxes only to find out the pedestal of the dining table was in the elusive third box.

Thankfully the set was rendered completely useless and the manager agreed to give me a refund even though the receipt that I had clearly says no returns. Dang that fine print.

So I marched on.

And I started trolling CraigsList.

Now, let me first start by saying that I’ve always met great people from Craigslist but sometimes every now and then I find those bad apples. I think I’m pretty good at avoiding those people when I read nasty sounding ads or bitchy sounding ads. Side note, who are you and why do you think someone would want to do business with you when you sound like an ogre.

One type of ad that I almost never respond to are all those who say, “Reasonable Offers Only” Let’s take this to Dictionary.com shall we?

I find the 3rd definition to be quite relevant. So when I offered $100 for this china cabinet I thought it was reasonable.

By the way, when I responded to this ad there was only 1 photo.

And here’s how the email exchange went down:

Innocent albeit in a bad mood Me:

Hi,

Would you take $100?

CL Crazy:

Im sorry that is not a reasonable offer. Reasonable Offers only.

Me:

Reasonable is relative. You might want to give a more accurate description of the item. Keeping the word antique in quotes is strange and makes it sound like it’s not an antique. If it’s an antique just say that. Perhaps this is your first time selling online? I encourage you to counter. We cannot read your mind.

CL Crazy: **crickets**

I admit I was being snippy. But in my defense this kind of stuff just really gets under my skin.  I get it, he/she didn’t like my offer but why not say something like, “this piece was given to me by President George Washington and I had it appraised 5 years ago and it was worth 1.6 million dollars.”

I mean can I just get a bone? Why oh why CL Crazy do you make things so difficult?

Speaking of CraigsList, sometimes I like to laugh at the funny and absurd ads that are out there. Today I thought I would share a few I’ve collected.

Umm, so do I have to take all of them? I get it, this guy is too lazy to clean his deck. The only free thing here is your labor. At least he gives us a close up look of the goods.

Ok, here’s another one. Pay attention to the description.

Condition? Salvage, check.

Still functional and good looking? Wait, what does salvage mean again?

My favorite part is that they noted that this poor guy is “internally damaged”. We need a new lung and kidney stat.

Recently I was in an antique store and the owner of one of the booths was trying to take a picture of herself next to a wardrobe she was selling…at the request of the buyer. Kinda weird right? That’s what the Imperial System of Units is for. Maybe I’m just old school.

Anyways, this strange way of measuring popped up on CL on at least one other occasion and I saved a few screenshots cause I think it’s crazy funny.

So this table is both 1.5 feet across AND 5 feet across! Total mind bender. My favorite is the banana. I guess “banana for scale” is for all those who believe that measurements are not finite.

I sure hope you enjoyed getting a sneak peak at my warped sense of humor. And by the way, if you’re a Craigslist troller and spot something HIL-a-RIOUS please please send it to me or use #CraigslistFollies and I’ll feature some of my favs.