I’m a mother.

I won’t read a homemade card.

I won’t feel my child’s I-love-you-hug.

I won’t get a Happy Mother’s Day text.

With every well intended Mother’s Day tribute no one will know that I am a mother.

This holiday is impossible to celebrate.

As the Day grows closer I find myself drowning in anxiety and sadness.

My heart filled with an impossible wish.

I wish that many years ago when my soul was broken, I would have seen the Hope that was growing in my belly.

I wish that my second Hope wouldn’t have ended so soon.

I wish your little heartbeat could have been heard outside of me.

I wish that the world knew that you both existed in me.

Meghan and Little Leilani Lou.

You are my girls. I am your mother. And this weekend we celebrate a different kind of Mother’s Day.

If you’re a different kind of mother like me, I encourage you to read Heaven is For Real. It reminded me that I’m a mother and my girls will be happy to see me when I pass from here to there.

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2 Responses

  1. Christine Mann

    oh Christine, I am so sorry for your loss. I too hurt during this season because I cannot have children. It’s my worst time of year 🙁


  2. Regena Fickes

    Your little girls and my two little boys are waiting for us. I had 4 more children, one of these flew away also. We will see them again. God bless you.


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